When
things are going well and you gain confidence its hard to stop running
hard and take days off. When your feeling good your desire to throw
down on every run increases. You want to see if you can do this run or
that run faster than last time. None of that matters in the big scheme
of things. What really matters is how you will perform in a race not a
new PR for a training run route. Psychologically though, feeling
strong and seeing improvement keeps the fire of desire and the
willingness for more punishment stoked for the weeks ahead, the long
runs, and the early morning running with a headlamp.
All
this can be derailed so easily. It doesn't take much for you to loose
confidence, motivation, and desire. The fragile psyche of a runner.
Self doubt, loss of confidence, focus or faith can all be lost in the
blink of an eye. Something someone says to you, peripheral stress,
sickness, the weather, injury, or even thoughts of getting injured.
What does all this babbling have to do with me this week? It is about loosing confidence and the process of getting it back.
Last
week I had a great MP run. I felt strong, I was looking forward to the
next hard workout to test my fitness more. A couple days following
that MP run I felt a quick twinge in my Achilles area. I could not tell
if it was the tendon, soft tissue around that area or a calf muscle
that was twinging. It only happened a couple times during my 17 mile
run and just for a fleeting moment. That moment was all it took to
start the mind thinking and loose confidence. The area where the
twinge was seemed like something I hadn\'t experienced before but it
wasn't continuous to even pinpoint what was going on. I could not
find a specifically sore area. Five years ago I tore my Soleous muscle
on that calf doing some speed work so when I start to feel anything
remotely related to that area I get worried. Non of this quick
twinging was pinpoint able or repeatable, it was quite random and I
could not feel anything once I stopped running, and PC didn't indicate
anything either.
I
ran the next day's scheduled 12 miler and had one twinge early on and
changed my stride a bit to ensure I didn\'t use the calf fully just to
make sure. After that run my mind was running wild thinking the past 8
weeks may be lost. I could possibly be injured or well on my way. I
looked back on training the previous week and just shook my head a
little. A hard 10 mile MP run,a 24 mile run the day after that,
another 16 miles of hard trails (which I usually am on my toes a lot
for quick stepping over things), the hard 12 mile MP run followed by a
17 mile run the next day all within 6 days. It looked like I may be
headed for an overuse injury.
The
mind is working overtime now. What could it be? Achilles Tendonitis,
start of a calf injury, my shoes causing something, overuse injury??
Every little soreness was now a sign of something. I generally have
some soreness here and there but now I was questioning if they were
injuries or start of injuries. I lost all confidence to try to push my
running, scared to run at all because I would really get injured.
The
hardest thing is to take an unplanned rest day. Its easier to go run
more. I feel like I\'m missing a part of training and that one day
will make a difference. I\'m older now and wiser. I still have 5
weeks until the marathon. I could recover if I was truly injured. If
I don't do anything stupid I can come back from even an injury, I have
enough time.
I
decided to take a day off running and PC instead. Last week I summoned
up all my courage and cut out my Friday run which was also supposed to
be a speed work day. One day less of running and one day less of speed
work 5 weeks out what does it matter.
In
place of running I did 2 hours on the PC at 100rpm. I didn\'t feel
anything in the calf on the PC so I figured it was also a good way to
test my hip flextor endurance. I had to take a quick rest every 20 min
to get some blood flow flow going again, if you know what I mean, but I
made it 2 hours. The last 20 min I started to get tired of keeping at
100rpm and I did feel the workout the next day in the hip flexors.
That was the longest PC ride so far.
Since
I had lost all confidence in my calf I did my Saturday 21 miler super
easy, 2:30:00 , almost soft stepping on that leg the entire way but at
a high turnover rate. I made it w/o incident, w/o any twinges. One day
down. My Sunday run was the same thing but a tad faster pace but still
well over what I normally would run at. I really tried to pamper that
Achilles and get through the distance safely. I was still attributing
every little soreness to a possible injury. The big test was going to
be the following weeks VP workout on Tuesday. I just had to make
un-injured then I was going to push it and find out if it was or was
not injured.
On
Tuesday I ran my VP workout in 81/72 alternating laps continuously for
24 laps. Usually I would only be able to complete this workout
continuously w/o stopping at the end of my training cycle close to the
Marathon as a gage if I'm ready. Usually I can't complete it
continuously the first time out. This time I was able to complete the
workout the first time, 5 weeks out, and my calf held up. I did feel
the effort the last two laps and noticed some soreness after probably
because I hadn\'t done speed work for over a week, and hadn't done any
fast speed work for a couple weeks.
Maybe
all the worrying was nothing. Maybe I did what I needed to do to keep
from getting injured. All I know is my confidence is back, I trust my
leg, and have felt pretty solid on my runs this week and have that
desire to just keep running more and harder.
Last
week I ran 90 miles, mostly very slow 7+ min pace trying not to stress
my leg. I finished a VP session in 81/72 first time out. I did a 55
min and 2 hour long PC rides at 100rpm, 2 additional workouts at 30min
at 110+rpm, and two days of 40 min and 100rpm. My weight is almost
where I want it to be within a 1/2 lb so I have 5 weeks to tune it,
stabilize, and feel it out on the long runs.
I
really feel that increasing some of the workouts above 110RPM is
helping the PCing a lot. I adjusted the seat angle more so I'm more
comfortable and can handle 40 min straight w/o needed to get off the
seat. I feel much more comfortable now and regularly spin at 104+ rpm
more than at 100rpm because of all the additional spinning above
110RPM. I'm riding for maybe 10 -15 min of my workouts w/o hands now
also.
I
purchased a pedometer that measures steps and steps per min this week.
I hope it gets here by this weekend for my long runs. My Nike speed
and distance monitor doesn't output cadence, which is a shame. This
cheap little pedometer should allow me to better analyze what my
turnover is. When I count I wonder if I\'m matching my turnover to how
fast I can count or if I\'m off by a beat, and I can only count for
about 30 sec.. With the pedometer I can get a much better reading on my
turnover for longer periods of time and more accurately. Some more
scientific data vs. me speculating and counting for 30 seconds a couple
times during my runs.
So
power cranking is showing a lot of improvement and the running
confidence is back. I\'m excited to see what the next two weeks will
bring.
"If you want to win something, run 100 meters.
If you want to experience something, run a marathon."
-Emil Zatopek - 1952 Olympic gold in the. 5000m, 10000m and marathon at the same Games
Age: 35, Sex: Male, Height:5'3",racing wt: 119lbs, marathon PR: 2:20:54, Occupation: Full time Mechanical Engineer; Family: 2 children ages 2, 4
Background: Ran mediocore in high school. Transitioned to road bike racing in college and was 7th in the collegiate nationals road race in 1994. I graduated and quite bike racing and didn't do much for several years. In 1999 I took up running marathons recreationally with my wife as an excuse to travel. In 2003 I took up marathoning competitively.